APRIL, the worst month of tis yr

seriously, I need to get my LIFE back on the right track.

wat seems like a whole lot of long standing issues are startin to clear up. n i really really h0pe so! so many tings tt i wanna do! learn n experience!! i dont want to b left out feelin tt i haf done nothing for this entire life!! its been hell n nitemares. but im going to set it right tis time.


I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE SHIT, ALL YOUR SHIT. one day, you will reap the fruits of your evil doings.

e sight of money turns mi off

sumtimes i reli hate IT. IT seems to b of such importance but god doesnt seem to mk IT easy for mi. for mi family. i wanna noe, y do u rather gif IT to her den to us. u seem to forgot tt we r part of u. she ISNT. mb she is NOW. mb she had cast a spell in u. oh crap.

if onli ties can b cut, i wun ever wanna b of anitin related to u. ive a new meanin for u in mi dictionary now. it means to b deleted away. happi holidayin w her.


/\. //. ~~ / /. .\\ . .

what ifs . . .

.one dae i decided to end mi life / leavin everytin behind

how wld it b like? how wld tings change?

.i decided to pluck up mi courage / n start all over agn

wld lUv still b ter forever, for mi?

would you?

/ / / /

.i continue remain e way i am / livin e life i m now / worryin bt e path ahead

will i b able to find e haPpiness tt i truly wan?


.i am just a plain jane / wishin for a miracle to happen

bware of wat i wish for? or contd to work harder?


.i m stil tired, of all tt has hapPened / its drainin mi away. . .

MY ironic LIFE shall ends 2008

myriad phrases of emotions

with nowhr to go


no idea how to put it all in one postin


is it worth mentionin?

but who cares?


mi sis saes she wans to catch up w her peers

yes. how i wish i can do e same




stuck in a god forsaken prison w buddhas statues layin all over e place.


an ironic life. MY ironic life


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.

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or is it jux mi?


i wan to untangle e mess of suffocation.


until den can i gain e freedom i wan.


but i noe i will eventually.


hopefully soon. . .



i pray that all bad tings wld be resolved


tt i can find back mi faith n courage to go on


MY LIFE in 2009 and beyond



: expect e unexpected

ALREADY A MILLION TIMES N COUNTIN ON. WEN WIL IT STOP. CAN IT BE STOP? NO

U CAME IN. JUX BCOS ANOTHER LIGHT IS ON U CAN JUX SCOLD US LIKE EVERY OTHER DAE!?! WHO GIVE U E RIGHT TO FLARE UP AS N WEN U LIKE?! R WE NOT UR CHILDREN R WE NOT E ONES WHO GAVE U SUPPORT WEN UR DOWN. HAF U FORGOTTEN OR U CHOOSE TO FORGET NOW THAT U HAF HER. WHO IS TER TO SUPPORT US NOONE!! R WE AS COLD BLOODED AS U. DUN WE HAF E RIGHT TO B ANGRY AND STRESS. R WE LIVING AS GOOD AS U TINK. DO U NOE HOW WE R LIVIN. DO U TINK UR E ONE WHO IS SUFFERING ALL ALONG. WHY R U TREATING US LIDAT. WE ALL HAF OUR FEELINGS. BUT U EXPECT US TO TINK OF URS ONLI. R WE NOT IMPT. U RATHER CHOOSE HER. U KEPT QUIET WEN SHE RANT AT US AS IF WE R JUX SUM WORTHLESS CREATURES WHO DESERVE ALL THESE FR A STRANGER!! WE CANT FIGHT BACK AT ALL. WHO CAN HELP US. WHO R U. I DUN MIND GETTIN BEATEN TO DEATH BY U. I RATHER U DO IT PLS. I JUX HATE IT WEN U ABUSE UR AUTHORITY AND KICK US AROUND LIKE ANIMALS. WHO R U TO DO TT. WHY HAF U CHANGED SO MUCH. PLS GET OUT OF HERE. WE DUN NID SUMONE LIKE U. DUN EXPECT MI TO TREAT U LIKE A HUMAN BEING SIMPLY BCOS U R NOT SANE ANIMORE. U WIL NV GAIN E RESPECT WE ONCE HAD SO DEARLY FOR U. UR OUT OF MI LIFE.

I HATE YOU

wat does family means to u?

its so hard jus to haf a decent meal at home. he n tt prc jus ate in their own world no care for anione of us. no words of comfort no smiles no bondin at all. instead lotsa anger shouts criticism beatings n not forgettin hurtful words like 'u r worse den a beast' etc. yeh..tts how mi 'family' treats mi. n tts not all..i wonder if anione noes but tis is e kinda life i haf been endurin for e past few yrs. yes. well i try to stay chirpy upfront but I noe i will nv ever wil haf e chance to relief e good old daes..i used to b his gal n respects him e most but now..he chose her instead of e five of us. . .how stupid.

i reli envy mi frens whose family tks care of them, toks to em, share their probs w em..simple tings tt i can nv attain animore..

i dun tink i wil tk care of u wen ur old n down..since all u ever nid is jus her. how stupid.